Are you serious?

Long ago I was a serious runner. Actually I didn't know I was a serious runner. I lived in a small Indiana town of about 1,000 people. I liked to run even before I became a "runner." I ran when I played tag, I ran when I played baseball or kickball. I even ran to the store.  I wasn't a runner though, was I? I remember one day when I was a sophomore this new kid in History class asked me if I wanted to run with him after school. I hesitated, after all I wasn't a runner. I had no running shoes. I had by that time given up on my dream to  be a professional baseball player. I was a pitcher and not too bad. He convinced me to stay after school and we searched the PE/coach's secret closet and found a pair of Onitsuka tigers. They were blue, had a thin strip of rubber on the bottom and were a bit worn. I slipped them on with no socks and they were wonderful! My first pair of running shoes. The most "minimal" shoes I have ever owned and that was before minimal was a word even used to describe running shoes. My first run went quite well. I kept up and fell in love with running and with the idea of being a runner. I began my training as a serious runner. I ran 75-100 miles each week. I bought training shoes, racing flats and spikes(I put up hay to earn money). I loved running. I loved being good at something and having others around me who understood and felt the same... Off to Ball State. Joined the cross country team. Trained all the time, always tired. Racing never went well. I never won anything. Running wasn't fun anymore.  I quit running, threw the shoes in the closet. I tried to pick it up again and after a lap around the block(less than a mile) each time , I would throw the shoes in the closet again in disgust. Finally about 3 years ago I entered a 5k race, maybe finished in the top 50. I was embarrassed. After all, at one time I had been a runner, a serious runner. But now I was in my 40's. Maybe that was the reason, maybe I could no longer be a serious runner. I did not know anyone over 40 who was a serious runner, who trained year-round, won races. But I decided to keep running. I'm not really sure why. Maybe I needed to prove I wasn't old? Maybe I needed to relieve stress? Maybe I was blindly getting myself into something that I should leave to younger, more talented people? I have now been training for 3 years. I have made many mistakes and have learned from each. I know I have gotten better. I no longer shoot for top 50, 40, 30 or such. I have realized that I cannot do 75-100 miles without suffering greatly. I ache daily but I run through it. I even wonder, "what would it be like to race without feeling pain in my left Achilles?" The serious young runner has now become the serious older runner. I still think I'm a runner. I still want to win(although I have to settle for age group at times). I have goals to get better, to maybe be a great masters runner. Who knows? You know running is running, no matter your age. Run for the fun of running. Running is natural. It is what we humans are built to do. When you start thinking in terms of age, you start limiting yourself. We all  know our mental preparation is half the battle.  Becoming the runner you want to be first starts with believing you can be.  I have to admit when I first started back I surprised myself but now I am looking to the future and becoming a better, wiser serious runner.