Okay folks here it is October and as I look back through my running log and Facebook posts I realize that either I'm full of shit or maybe this injury is more stubborn than I ever could imagine. I have had some good days, some brief moments of speed and exhilaration. Moments when I have found myself wondering if the bad days were all behind me and the best was yet to be. I had a crazy dream that after 25 years of not running and then 2 years of some decent times, that I could be competitive in the half marathon in the masters group. This roller coaster ride has been emotionally exhausting and I now do not know what to think of my dream anymore. You don't know how often I have heard the crap about my age and how "we all get slower." I am not ready to concede, to start allowing my age to debilitate me without a fight. I know I'll never run a 15 minute 5k but I do still feel the speed in my legs and want to set PR's even if I am 50!
I didn't race much early on this season because I knew I was not ready. Now that I have done a few I can be honest it is not easy not winning some Mag 7 races. My friend Tim is running awesomely this year and I am so happy for him. He deserves it. And wow where did Oscar come from? How has he gotten so fast? I can't wait until I get married so my 5k times will get faster too. I haven't decided if going to races is more difficult or watching others race? This has been a long year. Still not much progress with the injury. I am second guessing everything of course and only time will tell if any of this has helped. I wish I could fast forward to next summer and see if I am healthy. If only I had a sign that I WILL be fit again. Some hope for the hopeless is what I need right now. Do I dare to dream that I can run again without pain, have fun and be faster? I don't like the other option of giving up, not running and buying golf clubs. Running is the one thing I'm good at, one thing I have a natural talent for, one thing has brought me joy and helped guide me through some rough patches. The thought of not having it at my becon call to use as I see fit scares me. I can tell you running brought me out of despair and gave me the confidence and discipline to think I could achieve anything I worked hard at. Running transformed my life and come what may will always be a significant part of me.
Whew! I feel so much better. Thanks for your patience. In summary: Achilles still hurts damn it and I know this road season has been a huge waste. I am looking to next year but feel I need yet another new plan (is this plan #9?). I want to log some miles this winter. Nothing too fast. Took last winter off and that rest did nothing to heal the Achilles. If(big if) foot problems get better would love to do Sarasota half again. We shall see. Anyone have any great ideas? I'm ready to get better.
